Brett & Megan

So British radio is not my cup of tea. We’ve been driving around the English country for about a week now in a rented, or ‘hired’, car and have been stuck with the entertainment provided by British radio stations, mostly the dizzying array of BBC stations. We soon discovered that they are rather chatty. They talk endlessly about the news, the weather, and such. The commercial breaks are frequent and long. They also keep everyday callers on for 2-3 minutes whereas in the US, a DJ will dump a caller after about 20 seconds. When they finally get to playing music, it’s mostly of the fast-beat, disco pop genre that must be popular in dance clubs. So after we waited with anticipation for 12 minutes, we quickly change the station and start over. What’s worse, BBC stations take up not one but several frequencies. When you scan away from BBC 2 on 88.9, you are sent to 89.1, then 89.3, then 89.7 – all broadcasting BBC2. It takes several pushes just to get to something different.

After spending a few hours with my finger constantly on the scan button. I came up with the solution that on our next stop, we would find a music store, shop for a few CD’s and pick up some tunes that we both like. No sooner did I verbalize my plan to Megan when we came upon a service stop. These are actually quite convenient. These roadside exits have food, gas, and convenience stores all layed out in exactly the same way. They’re made for you to get off, consume what you need, and get right back on the motorway. After downing some much needed human fuel, Megan noticed on the way out that a convenience store had a whole wall of music CD’s. Great! We searched and eventually found several CD compilations that included numerous bands that we both liked: U2, The Beatles, The Police, and more. Three CD’s of actual music that we were familiar with. Only £6.99 for the set and we were on our way.

Track one was a Beatles song we were both familiar with, although it must have been a different recording that we had heard previously. Paul McCartney’s voice sounded uncharacteristically dry. Next track was the Cranberries famous Linger. This, too, sounded strange. We started to skip through the tracks and realized we what we had just purchased: British karaoke. None of these were the original artists. And not good ones. I would have even preferred Japanese karaoke. One guy made a dreadful attempt at Bono, then the same guy imitated David Bowie in the next track (though he sound more like Bowie during the hammering of U2’s Unforgettable Fire). In fact, not only were they covers, but some were covers of covers, like the cover of Guns N’ Roses version of Live and Let Die, originally by Paul McCartney. We laughed, but also cringed at some of the songs. We now have our next white elephant gift for the year. Needless to say, I’m done with British music. I’m tempted to stop at the next service station and buy a copy of a Radiohead compilation that I saw, but I’m scared: Will it really be Radiohead, or the Greatest Hits of Radiohead as sung by Danger Kitty?